Stand Stock Still
by Lady Animosity
Summary: A short musing in first person Mina's POV. Dark and a bit tragic. PG for mention of blood, etc. Please Read and Review!


Stand Stock Still  
  
Disclaimer: Of course, I own exactly nothing. Characters belong to 20th Century Fox and Alan Moore (I hope that's the right guy.) Anyway, I'm not trying to make a dime off this, so don't be rude and try sue me.  
  
A/N: From Mina Harker's POV, set in Dorian's manor after the battle sequence and Mina's little debut. Minor movie spoilers - nothing big or important to the plot really. *Blushes* Anyhow, please read and review!  
  
As I wipe the blood off my face, there is a mirror in my hand.  
  
But I cannot say exactly why.  
  
Small splatters and smaller droplets of coppery red liquid caress the skin around my lips, on my nose, beneath the lids of my eyes. I don't need to see it to know it is there. But even if I did, what good would a mirror do me?  
  
When I cannot even see my own reflection?  
  
"You missed a spot," he tells me, and I pardon myself to wipe it away.  
  
But I do not turn away to hide the blood. No, because they've already seen it. I turn away to hide my embarrassment. How silly of me. How silly of me to think that I could carry on this charade, act as if I am still. human.  
  
And holding a mirror, of all things! What mockery. Do I honestly think that I can fool them all? Fool them into thinking that I am just as natural as they are? Of course not. I do it for myself - my own vanity. Vain, because I haven't seen my face in a very long time, but I'm quite certain that I haven't aged a day in the years since he sunk his teeth into me. I can hardly remember what exactly I look like, though various lovers have said I'm lovely. What color are my eyes? Blue - or blood red? And my lips? Stained with the same blood? I will never know.  
  
It's been. so long.  
  
And I grow weary of hosting these false pretenses.  
  
But sometimes, one needs to pretend things in order for one to remain in a sane state of mind.  
  
For the greater part of my life, I am a composed Victorian lady with proper breeding and a quiet nature. But when the Dracula inside bursts to the surface I have no control. All I know is blood-my hunger for it, my craving and need for it, and I cannot stop until the demon is sated. But once the monster subsides, all I can feel is weakness and shame. Oh, of course, I can put on a show for everybody. To them, I am ever the elegant, poised chemist 'Wilhelmina Harker, widow of the late Jonathan Harker, bank clerk.' That is what they know me as.  
  
But I know better.  
  
Inside, I am a feared and terrible creature of the night, weapon of mass destruction - primed to kill and ever-hungry for the blood which stains my soul. I cannot control it, though sometimes I like to make believe that I can.  
  
I hold up the mirror to see my reflection, but in vain, for all I can see is the wall behind me.  
  
I know they are all gazing at me in anticipation, ready for me to explain myself. What they all must think of me, I cannot even imagine.  
  
Nervously running my tongue along the ridges of my teeth, I know that I cannot speak right away. To open my mouth would reveal hideous white fangs, stained red with the essence of my latest victim.  
  
It is too much to bear. For them and for me.  
  
I'm tired of trying to be someone I no longer am. I am no longer 'Mina Harker, chemist, widow of the late Jonathan Harker, bank clerk.' She died years ago. But the stronger part of me survived--will survive forever. I am Mina Harker, creature of darkness.  
  
Vampire.  
  
Immortal and inhuman.  
  
There is no escaping this fate.  
  
But, if I stand stock still, and listen to the gentle, rhythmic palpitations of my heart, I can pretend for a few more seconds.  
  
Pretend that I am still human.  
  
A/N: Wow, I really hope this was enjoyed. I wrote it in about thirty minutes - the idea's been bugging me since I first saw the movie. Did anyone else notice Mina holding that mirror? I thought vampires had no reflection. And why was she outside in daylight? Maybe I just need to read the book. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for the whole thing. Anyway, my story just made up a new reason. Please Review!! PLEASE!! (Flames will be used to roast marshmallows, but constructive criticism is appreciated.) Thank you much. 


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